I make earnest attempts over and over again to escape or revise my 86 life, but it always finds a way to haunt me. When I awake in the middle of the night with cool calm feelings, it is generally because I’ve been turning wrenches on an engine with four shiny stacks on the passenger side, and tall swooping octopus legs on the other… with my eyes closed. Or maybe I’ve been sitting in an FRP bucket with Nardi in my hands, listening to rain pound on a sheetmetal roof.
It has been said that “nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.” Or more precisely “nostalgia is a file that takes the rough edges off our past.”
I say to hell with that. My hair might be turning gray, but I’ve never worked a “real” job in my life. My kids are now gaining age and independence. What real reason do I have to move on?
AE86 is not perfect. When I last finished with it, it was an amazing drive that stirred me in the greatest manner. And yet… it was horrifically impractical, butchered by my own impatience and completely irrelevant as a competition car.
There are two conflicts in my car life.
A. That with which I struggle to find attachment.
B. That with which I struggle to find meaning.
When I find a way to balance these two struggles, this site will explode again into something fun.
Could that balance be a vintage racing capable Group A or N2 AE86? I imagine and contemplate.. but until some a base for this project reveals itself, this website will contain the same old dreary shit.
I think A and B are one in the same, right? If you’re attached to something, it has meaning to you. Maybe I don’t understand. But, on the topic of AE86s, you’ve covered your attachment and passion on many posts, but I don’t ever recall seeing a reason why you don’t just get back into one. Things that give us happiness and peace of mind are the most important in life, and it sounds like you already have all the motivation you need–you just need to make it happen.
I suppose by meaning, I meant that it has a meaningful use. That doesn’t necessarily mean that it has the ability to go too and from the grocery, but as I age, I’ve learned that I don’t have much interest in driving just to drive. I want to be able to gauge my performance in a competitive environment. It’s getting harder and harder to do that with an AE86…
I need to try again with an established plan, rather than cutting and hacking and modding at whim.