So I’ve made real life harder than it should be, with my somewhat extravagant car life these past ten years. Makes for some difficult decisions.
And… Sunday morning, at the rally-x, after I just tagged three cones (one of which pulled a sideskirt off), ran way out of control, and posted only a marginally fast time, and didn’t have any good idea how to go faster…. I really felt like quitting.
Sell everything. Sell the RNN14, sell the 86, sell my collection of rare 86 magazines, sell my DVD AE86 Club Volumes… sell my helmet… and live in a house with my beautiful wife to be. いつも大場淑子と一緒にいたいと思う。I think about what self-definition this website and this life has created… it seems absurd.
And then the afternoon…
I move past disappointment. I’m only there because I paid to be there. Gone are my visions of beautiful 4wd drifts and dust clouds, and all I’m thinking about is going on. Run tight and clean don’t hit anymore cones, don’t pull the sideskirt off again…
And out pops FTD.
What a surprise.
But I guess it shouldn’t be a surprise… because this is a lesson I was taught by Ryan, many years ago. This is even a lesson I’ve been trying to teach Andrew… go slow to go fast. It actually works.
And then I start thinking… I don’t really have to give up all of this life do I?
I told this to 淑子。I’m lucky enough to have found a girl who told me, she won’t let me give it all up.
Which is where I am now… sitting on my beloved 86, and the all weather monster RNN14. Definitely one too many. Maybe two to many. Maybe they both need to go, and I need to start over with something even cheaper.
Right now though… the AE86 goes.
It’s just not convenient. This is really easy to justify. Listen up… my 86 life is coming to an end. Somehow, the sight of these cars still stirs me in ways you can’t imagine. Something deep inside me moves, and pictures maybe… an empty gravel road on a foggy morning, the dangerous downhill of my secret touge… an amazing battle in the rain on Ebisu… spilt coffee on white jeans from a brief early morning flight on the Deerfoot with さいこのきれいな人です. For ten years, I have been with 86.
But now…
The small cabin can’t work comfortably for gigantic me, with a seat that can move so my love can drive it too. It’s vintage and Calgary winters will kill it. It’s loud, kidney pounding… and really not that exhilarating in mild tune form. I’m sick of getting classed as a drifter fanboy. Not that drifters aren’t cool… but they’re not my crowd ultimately.
It’s time to grow up and move on. Time to find a car that’s fun in mild tune form. Time to find a car that can tear up a snowy road, and pound through Calgary slush. Right now that car is my RNN14…
Still… I will always remember 86.